Three such people have found themselves around a stubborn fire with just such a predicament. The fire was dying, and one figure from the three stood up and walked over to a fallen tree. He pulled out something about the size of a throwing dagger and pressed it with his thumb. Instantly, the "dagger" flared to life. Energy crackled out of the end of the "dagger" till the total length of the dagger and energy was the length of a saber. The light emanating from the great energy revealed the figure to be Donnovan Sunrider, Jedi of the Emerald Hills.
He raised the saber skyward and then sent it crashing through three limbs, slicing them cleanly and quickly. Before they had a chance to fall, he sliced one of the limbs in two yet again, producing four nice sized fire logs.
"This should do nicely." Donnovan said almost smugly as he pressed the "dagger" with his thumb yet again, causing the energy and light to cease. Slipping the dagger looking device in a side holster, he proceeded to pick up the four pieces of firewood.
"Show off!" one figure said from around the fire, hidden in the glow by his cloak and hat. The cloaked figure pulled himself up to give the jedi a hand with the firewood.
"Hey guys, you know, I'm starting to loose feeling in my toes over here, but that's groovy. Take your time with the fire wood."
"Now Avice, be thankful we have a jedi here with us. At least he makes LIGHT of chopping wood. Hehehehe..." the cloaked figure punned, revealing himself to be a familiar bardic form in the glimmer of the fire light.
A fourth figure extended a hand out of nowhere (seemingly) and said, "Clu, that definitely needs a pun tax."
Clu reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a coin, "Here you go Vuzlyn." And with that, the hand took the coin and vanished into (seemingly) thin air.
The bard mused as he helped place the wood on the fire. "You know, I think pun taxes are one of the few things from my less popular newbie days that I'm glad to say it still alive and well."
"Less popular newbie....?" Donnovan started to say in a voice of disbelief.
"Clu, I think you have made pun taxes mandatory, that's why they are still around." Avice remarked, still trying to warm up.
"From what I hear, madam bard, you aren't doing so bad yourself." Clu said, smiling at Avice as he placed the last piece of wood on the fire.
"Newbie?" Donnovan remarked again.
"Well, we all have to start somewhere. And believe it or not, there was a time when I was not considered the bard of bards. Have I ever told you about Max, the 'Death Bard' of the Emerald Hills?"
"I've heard of him, and no, I don't think you have," the jedi said, listening.
"Here goes another story...." a voice Vuzlyn groaned from (seemingly) nowhere. Avice laughed, and settled closer to the fire to listen.
"Yeh, we all had to start somewhere," said Clu, "and that somewhere for me was Ironcloud.... "

It was well after dark, which, when you think about it, was not wise when you're in South Dallas. But we numbered easily a hundred at that park; we were young, and having a good time. Amongst the pitch black was a group of people sitting around a picnic bench with a fire going in a Bar-B-Que pit.
The group was comprised mostly of women who were hanging around Nirvana waiting for their boyfriends. As they waited, an older lady, Qinryhr mother of Qintahr the druid, was leading out in a bardic. The music was enchanting and already I knew I was going to like the place. I stood by the table until the song ended, and then Qinryhr looked at me and said,
"And who might you be?"
"Illure the Messenger. I have newly arrived after hearing about the soon to be coronation of the king."
"Imagine that!" Qinryhr laughed, "A newbie with good garb, now I've seen everything."

"What?!?" the other three voices said from around the fire.
"Well, I was dating someone in Amtgard at the time and I thought she was angry with me. So I had on a mask and everything. Unfortunately, the person I was dating, C'Nedra, had a sister known as Weasel, who recognized me due to the mustache I had at the time. Very important lesson, masks and mustaches do not mix well...."

With my cover blown, I sheepishly looked at Qinryhr and said, "Name's Goodwyn Clu Da'Bard... famous bard and not so famous fighter." which was the line I used in various role playing games before Amtgard.
"A bard, I must say, we don't see many of those here. Perhaps you would like to join us for a bardic." And with that, she handed me a copy of the Nirvana songbook along with a waiver and various other things that are a blur.
Later that night, I would be introduced to Ivan, the king that was soon to be crowned, and his lady Cenza. Cenza was the first bard I would meet in Amtgard. The two of them, along with Dawnshadow, would take me over to Ivan's place to have me watch the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" (an Ironcloud initiation for newbies along with various fantasy movies.) They were loads of fun, and Ivan would give me the first seven pages to start my songbook and a tape to learn by. If only he knew the "Neverending Songbook" that would flow from that.
As they drove me home, a large object burned in the sky and broke into many flaming pieces that streaked across the sky and in the end, trailed off over the horizon. It was a magic that sealed the whole experience for me.

"What was it? A meteor?" Donnovan asked.
"Actually, it was a Russian booster rocket re-entering the atmosphere, but we're not supposed to know about that here in Amtgard of course. Hehehe... but it was my inspiration for my TARDIS crash landing on this fantasy world we're on."

I started coming out because I loved the atmosphere. There was over a hundred people on the field. Thirty in Wolfpack, roughly fifteen in Sable Pride, thirty in the Corsairs, about fifteen in Argent Moon, and roughly 30 in Morterok, the great barbarian company. Mercenaries and non-company people, such as myself, numbered easily twenty to thirty.
First of all, since it was right off of Hampton road (at Kiest park) I thought the game was called "Hamptgard." Secondly, I thought "Hamptgard" was a LOT of people who liked to get together and have fun and make up the game as they went. The people of Ironcloud were certainly creative enough to improv like that, so I grabbed a long sword and jumped into battle. But a field with over a hundred people became quickly confusing with people firing arrows, throwing things, saying things. I don't think I ever died by the sword. And I got so used to bogus spells that I burst out laughing one day when Sir Garath pulled out a "Sphere of Annihilation"
"Now that is the most STUPID sounding spell I've heard all day!!" And I laughed all the way back to Nirvana.

Nirvana, now there was a great place. Lots of music, water, and women! I found the life of a "Nirvana Slug" to be a very enjoyable pastime, and had fun learning a lot of the music that I continue singing to this day from people like Qinryhr, C'Nedra, Dawnshadow, and Sir Alessandra. Sir Alessandra was one of the Emerald Hills first consistant paladins, and was also the early leader of the bardics. She would inspire me to keep bardics alive.
Three weeks into attending Amtgard, I was appointed court bard of the Emerald Hills when the king was crowned. I still remember Kal Methwyn's scowl of disappointment when he heralded my appointment to the populous in court. Kal and a few others were hoping that the other bard of the Hills would would gain the position.
One day, I would meet that other bard of the Emerald Hills. "You were wanting to meet another bard, Clu?" Bloodmoon said to me. "Well, meet Max."
I looked where Bloodmoon was pointing, and saw a man who stood about 5'8" wielding a shield with a lion on it. He had a ornate vest, and wore a headband with his long hair. (I always thought he and Tom Petty looked fairly similar.) Maximillan McDonald looked my direction, and while still walking said,
"Hi."
And continued walking.

Since it was the ideal of bards that brought me to Amtgard in the first place, and since there were less bards at that time than I had fingers on one hand, I found it great to talk to him. Over time I would ask him how he went about playing a bard, what inspired him to play the bard class, and so forth.
But it seems the pleasure was all mine. I was a newbie, he was third level. I didn't fight, and I sang with the Nirvana Slugs most of the time. Finally one day Max approached Nirvana.
"You call yourself a bard, but you're no bard! You don't play the class, you don't wield weapons, and so therefore, you are NOT a bard."
"What did you say?" I asked, somewhat stunned.
"I've said what I had to say."
"Max? We are two different styles of bards. You like to fight, I like to sing. We just see it differently."

There was no response as Max headed back to the battlefield. The populous was split on who was more of a bard. The one who knew his class abilities and fought like lightning, or the one who entertained, sang, and portrayed a bard in character.
In time, more and more populous members who could have cared less one way or the other before, now joined Max in the taunts that I was not a bard. Some were in good fun, others were outright rude. It was becoming quickly apparent, I needed to establish myself as a high level bard just to have some peace again in Amtgard (and to get everyone off my back) or simply leave.

Max did have a point. Amtgard does not put much merit in what you do as a character, but who you are on the battlefield and what is recorded on paper. And so after coming out for nine months to Amtgard, occasionally fighting, singing, helping with the atmosphere of Amtgard, I asked Selka what level I was. Levels and "abilities" were still a mystery to me.
"You have two."
"I'm second level?!?"
"No, you have two credits."

After all the time I spent singing in Nirvana, no one told me the importance of signing in. After getting some witnesses together to proove various key dates, midreigns and events I had attended, it was established that in the nine months I attended Amtgard, I had amassed twelve credits.
"Well, at least I'm second level."

There was a quest at Tanglewood, (in Duncanville) and as I was entering the park, I ran into, for the only time, the first bard of the Emerald Hills to gain the bard masterhood! He stood roughly at 5'11", wore a brown floppy hat and had a fairly nice outfit all and all. He was occasionally known for showing up in a jester's costume on some occasions. But this sixth level bard was out to do some damage on this questing day.
His name was Zendathamus!
After introductions were exchanged he said, "Clu? I've heard of you. By the way, where is your bardic blue?"
"Bardic what?" When Kurgin and a few other people introduced me to Amtgard, they told me by word of mouth various bard abilities like visit, charm, and things like that. However, I thought these rules were just verbally agreed rules which you learned as you went. I had never heard about "Class colors" I figured if you played a bard you dressed as a bard, and so forth. Certainly people could tell what you were playing by the garb you wore, right?

I would later get to see more of Zendathamus outside of Amtgard when I dated Elionwy. Elionwy had two younger sisters that were both twins. At that time, one twin was dating Zendathamus, the other was dating Max! Elionwy's house became known as the "BARD HEADQUARTERS" of the Emerald Hills. Elionwy once joked that a new bardic recruit could come to the "Bard Headquarters" and would be met by Zendathamus who would have his feet propped up on the table in laid back fashion. He would direct the recruit to Max, who would claim he was too busy with other business and to see Clu in the back. After getting lost from Zendathamus' directions, they would have found me, who would engage them in a long and fairly fun conversation about generally everything. It was only after leaving from the enjoyable visit that the recruit would realize that he knew no more about bards after talking to me than he did when he first arrived.

On another battlegame day at Tanglewood, I was left to guard the flag. Along side of me was the assassin, future king, and knight of the Celestrial kingdom, Logan T. Black.
Max decided to take the flag. For all intents and purposes, Maximillan McDonald did not gain the "Death Bard" persona for no reason. He was fast, combining bardic verbals with sword and shield he was a devastating force on the battlefield long before he reached sixth level as a bard.
Max approached within twenty feet of me, and started casting. I laughed gallantly, thinking if monks and barbarians have immunity to bard verbals, certainly BARDS must be immune to bard verbals.
Unfortunately, Amtgard does not follow the paths of logic. Max managed to get his first (and last) charm off on me. Suddenly I was compelled to go back to my base (which was the flag, roughly 30 feet away) and so I ran to my base, and quickly returned to battle.
This time I had some "words" of my own.

The scene was classic, and was made even more classic by Logan simply watching off to the side as all this was going on.
I approached Max, and he did likewise. At the same time we rose a pointing arm at each other, and at the same time we rattled off our 15 word poems for the charm spell.
(Actually, mine was 21 words long, and was the first part of the forgotten words to "I Dream of Jeannie")
A blaze of verbals flashed in the air, and as soon as it had started, it was over. We looked at each other, and then at Logan.
"Uh... Max, I think Clu got you."
That was a great moment, since that was the first time I ever successfully got a bard charm off. I was elated. Logan and I cheered as Max suddenly found himself compelled to journey back to his base on the other side of the forest known as Tanglewood (And for good reason too).
Our cheering ended of course when he returned to try a legend on us at extended range.

Time passed, and Max hit sixth level and suddenly the man who was dangerous before was deadly now. His title as the "Death Bard" gained solidity. Suddenly many who had laughed at the bard class before found themselves running to avoid verbals of a death machine.
And I turned third level about then.

Midnight Sun, park of Duck Creek (Garland), a wonderful park containing a pavilion, wooded areas, trails, and a ton of mosquitoes. But it was during this time my value as a third level bard became apparent.

"Hey Clu, Max is coming our way, get rid of him."

As Max continued forward I could have super-imposed lightning crackling out of the sixth level demi-bard.
At that time I had learned that I lived longer if I used a shield, but sword was not my choice of weapon, only a way of defense. I was a bard. My purpose was to entertain and detain; to put someone out of action for a few minutes at a crucial part of the game was worse than actually killing them. And this form of humiliation I did with finesse.
The result was usually the same. We would approach each other, he would rattle off a death verbal (Finger of Death was his impeccable favorite) I would do an extended charm, and in the end, the charm would win.

Time after time this continued. I made him act like jello, act like a monkey and other various animals and objects until Max one day, as guild master of bards, let me know that asking people to act like animals was not stated in the rules.
Naturally, when fighting sword to sword, I was doing good to defend myself and occasionally leg Max. Max managed to also leg, kill, fry, and entangle me with almost the same ratio as my charms that were completed on him.. In the fighting area, Max managed to always have the greater skill. At one time legend was told that a king from another kingdom (Celestrial?) asked Sir Nevron if Max had the skill required for Knight of the Sword. Sir Nevron told him no.
Later Max would hear about Sir Nevron's lack of recommendation and proceeded to slay him on the battlefield that following weekend. Granted, Cabal backed him up, but it was said that Max managed a good majority of the killing blows.
Since Max claimed that making people act like animals and objects were not stated in the rules of bardic charm (especially when it happened to him) I developed the more task oriented charms. On one battlegame day at Duck Creek, I told Max for a one hundred and fifty count to try to read the park sign with a barbarian's education. I will admit, Max actually role played that well by running up to the sign and SLOWLY reading the sign about one foot away from it the whole time. After a while, as bard guild master, Max would let me know that making people do certain tasks for a set count was not stated in the bardic charm rules.
Under the reign of King Aron came many wars, and who would expect less from the blood thirsty barbarian. It was during this time that the Emerald Hills fought against Barad Duin (Austin). It just so happens that Barad Duin asked Celestrial Kingdom in to join the fun, which raised the odds against the Emerald Hills. But this only meant there was more foes for Aron and his kingdom to slay.
The battle went well. Mages would use mass death spells and the warriors of the hills mopped up the rest. During the battle I had a blast pointing and singing at opponents. On one such occasion, Regent Kaz was locked in combat when I came up behind him and sang at his opponent. His opponent realized that I was a bard and gave a look of terror and fled. Kaz looked back at me with a big smile and said "Now THAT was cool."

Max, in true "Death Bard" fashion, charged one of the shield walls at one point and managed to not only break the wall but take out an opponent. After the battle was over, Max mentioned to me one adage that I have found valuable. He mentioned that he lost traction and slid into one of the shieldmen. It was not certain if the shieldman actually made a killing blow on Max, but Max took the shot anyway, giving him the benefit of the doubt. When explaining why he took the shot he gave the adage.
"When you boil it down, all that matters is respect."

"So you two actually spoke?" a voice said from (seemingly) no where. Donnovan concurred on that thought.
"Oh yeah, he and I would have flashes of camaraderie mixed with months of rivalry. I guess at times we had our moments of cheezing each other. But any enemy worth having is a enemy worth knowing. I think in time a mutual respect did grow."

Time passed, I achieved fifth level, and it was one day at Mirkwood (Rockwall) that I realized the tide had changed. Where I had been the dispised bard, now Max found himself in the very role he had created for me.
As one person put it,

"Clu is a bard, and Max is a bore."

I thought revenge would be sweet, but it strangely hurt to hear my rival whom I had come to understand, talked about with such little respect.
One day he literally stood up for himself and said,
"Now listen, I hear all of you talking about me, and I ask all of you in a nice way to leave me alone. We all have different ways of playing our personas. I don't judge people on how they play their classes, and I ask to be treated the same."

I sat there listening to him, and his words seemed to clash against the words that ached so when I was content as a first level newbie, singing in Nirvana with the Nirvana Slugs. I could recall him standing outside of the Amtgard I knew at that time, in Nirvana, shouting in the words,

"You call yourself a bard, but you're no bard....!"

How ironic. If he had never said that, he would have remained the premier bard of the Emerald Hills. I probably would have sung my songs, and happily moved on later. I didn't know of rulebooks, and therefore I could have cared less about the class. Even before I played the bard class, people believed I was a bard, and until that was challenged, that was all that mattered.
Now there he was, defending his right to have some peace in the game. I'd been there. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, which Max was no where close to being.
"Let him be." I told those around me. They looked at me strangely, "He is, after all, a great Death Bard."

From that point on, things went a little more smoothly. We were still rivals, but the competition was a little less heated. One day as I was fifth level someone was dumb enough to allow Max and I on the same side. The battlegame was at Tanglewood, and the enemy side was defending their flag on the "island" (a piece of land where a creek forked off into two creeks and then rejoined some fifty feet later). Guarding the flag was Mirth, a high level healer, and a wizard now known as Talon, who was a high level mage.
Max was in the midst of a verbal spell battle with them when I asked him, "Hey Max, got a Emotion Control?"
"What level are you?"
"Fifth."
He laughed, then charged the emotion control and ended the charge with a "ZAP! Alright, you're sixth level for thirty minutes."
After that, it was all over. For the first time in the Emerald Hills, to the best of my knowledge, two sixth level bards, on the same side joined up. Max started casting a finger of death. Mirth and Talon fled out the range of his verbal to run headlong into my finger of death. The look on Talon's face was classic when he suddenly realized that the musical and mostly harmless low level bard was now calling for his death. He gave a shriek of terror and fled to the other side of the island where they met Max's finger of death once again.
After the seventh time of being ping-ponged, they decided to take the death. Exhaustedly they wandered back to Nirvana.

On the last night that I was to be a fifth level bard, I was up late at an event as usual. Max happened to be up as well. Being too tired to move but not tired enough to sleep, we found chairs and started talking. We talked on and on about the changes in Amtgard, and how the game had changed many of the people that we had known, and sometimes we even talked about the bard class. Like two old war veterans, we talked until the sun rose from the night. We started talking in darkness and we ended the conversation in broad daylight.

"Speaking of which, " Avice stated looking around at the slight reddish haze over horizon, "I think I'd better get at least some sleep before dawn patrol comes around."
As she headed away from the fire ring, Clu and Donnovan noticed with the growing light that Vuzlyn had fallen asleep where he had been listening to the story.
"And people wondered why bards got the sleep spell. Hehehe.." Clu mused gesturing in the direction of Vuzlyn.

"So what happened after you and Max talked that night?" Donnovan asked. The bard only smiled that one listener cared to know the rest of the story.
"Max, being the bard guild master that he had been for so long tested me for sixth level. I personally think the sixth level test for the bard is the biggest pain out of all the Amtgard classes. Six levels of druid magic to study through, a whole different point system. I must have studied for that stupid test the whole next day. But Max was cool about it and gave a test that made sure I understood the general ideas of druid magic and the bard class.

With two established six level bards now walking around blasting the populous, an explosion of bards happened at Mirkwood and throughout the Emerald Hills. Rouge, Conobar, Sparrow Hawk, Damon, Finn McGill, and my bardic apprentice Faith to name a few. Some became great bards, others downright stunk as they twisted the rules of the bard class. In some cases, Max and I shook our heads, and others we suggested for masterhood as they developed their own identities as a bard.
One time at Camp Ellowy during the reign of King Wolvie a populous member noticed Max and I conversing about a bard that looked like masterhood material.
The person yelled out, "Wow, It's Clu to the Max!!"
I could tell Max was moderately amused...
... so I laughed for both of us.

Max and I were definitely extremes of the bard class, but we were not the first and will not be the last of the bards. Hopefully the future bards have found some inspiration from what we've done, and will strive to be the bards of bards...
....if nothing else, in their own minds."

And with that, Clu gave a big smile.

(If you are wondering of a time context for this story, the event's described in Clu's fireside tale started in the time of King Garath in late 1990 till the time of King Wolvie in early 1994.
The "present day" in the story would have occured at Hawkwood during the midreign of Ayatollah Dog in early 1997.)

Submitted on January 3, 1998
From: King Goodwyn Clu Da'Bard of the Emerald Hills