DOS, A BEER
-Lord Sir Lady Greywalker (Tune: "Do re mi") Dos a beer, a Mexican beer. Ray the guy we sent for beer. Me the guy, he got the beer for. Fa, a long long way for beer. So, I think I'll have a beer. La, la la la la la la. Ti, no thanks I'll have a beer and that brings us back to Dos Dos Dos Dos
SEVEN DRUNKEN NIGHTS
-Echoes of Erin (I know this is incomplete - if you have the missing verse, as the Echoes do it, please send it to me) Seven Drunken Nights Trad. [Anything in brackets is a crowd cue..as in, HEY, WIFE!] (Anything in parentheses is a spoken cue for the wife.) Husband: As I went home on Monday night, [MONDAY NIGHT?] as drunk as drunk could be. I saw a horse outside the door, where my old horse should be. I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!] Will you kindly tell to me, who owns that horse outside the door, where my old horse should be? Wife: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see. That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me. H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more, but a saddle on a sow, sure, I never saw before. H: As I went home on Tuesday night,[TUESDAY NIGHT?] as drunk as drunk could be. I saw a coat behind the door, where my old coat should be. I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!] Will you kindly tell to me, who owns that coat behind the door, where my old coat should be? W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see. That's a woolen blanket that my mother sent to me. H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more, but buttons on a blanket, sure, I never saw before. H: As I went home on Wednesday night,[WEDNESDAY NIGHT?] as drunk as drunk could be. I saw a pipe upon the chair, where my old pipe should be. I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!] Will you kindly tell to me, who owns that pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be. W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see. That's a lovely tin-whistle, that my mother sent to me. H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more, but tobacco in a tin-whistle, sure, I never saw before. H: As I came home on Thursday night,[THURSDAY NIGHT?] as drunk as drunk could be. I saw two boots beside the bed, where my old boots should be. I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!] ([WHADDAYA WANT, YA DRUNKEN BUM?]) Will you kindly tell to me, who owns them boots beside the bed where my old boots should be. W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see. They're two lovely flower pots my mother sent to me. H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more, but laces in flower pots I never saw before. H: As I came home on Friday night,[FRIDAY NIGHT?] as drunk as drunk could be. I saw a head upon the bed, where my old head should be. I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!] ([WHADDAYA WANT, YA DRUNKEN BUM?]) Will you kindly tell to me, who owns that head upon the bed, where my old head should be. W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you cannot see. That's a lovely head of cabbage, that my mother sent to me. H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more, but a mustache on a cabbage, sure, I never saw before. (Winn Dixie brand....) H: Now as I came on Sunday night,[SATURDAY NIGHT?] [LIVE!] as drunk as drunk can be, I saw a man running down the street, as naked as could be! So I called to me wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!] ([WHADDAYA WANT, YA DRUNKEN BUM?] (I'M BUSY!) would ya kindly tell to me, who was that man running down the street with the great, big, hairy.....knees? W: You're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you cannot see, That's just a tax collector, that the Queen sent to...service me... (With the long form....and the extension.) H: Well, it's many the day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more, but a tax collector satisfied, I never saw before!
While working on the castle wall, some bricks I had to clear.
To throw them down from such a height seemed quite a good idea.
The bailiff was not very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
And he said I'd have to cart them down the ladder in my hod.
Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow.
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below.
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.
And so, when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead.
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found,
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
The barrel broke my shoulder as towards the ground it sped,
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with my head.
I hung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow,
And the barrel spilled out half its bricks some forty feet below.
Now when those bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more.
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body wracked with pain,
When halfway down I met that bloody barrel once again.
The force of this collision, halfway up that castle block,
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock.
Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel'd scattered round.
I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst;
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst.
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope,
And in the mass confusion I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel was now free to fall and it started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor.
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you understand why Paddy's not at work today.
Dough - The stuff that buys my beer
Ray - The guy who sells me beer
Me - I think I'll have a beer
Far - A long way to the john
So - lets have another beer
La - (All gentils stare at each other across the fire with puzzled looks
on their faces and scratching their heads for a few seconds)
La - lets have another beer!
Tea - no thanks, I'll have another beer
Which will bring us back to Dough
Alternate last two verses
Te - I think we're out of beer
Which will mean we need more Dough
Do, re, me fa, so, la, te, Beer.
Some friends and I in a public house
Was playin' dominoes one night
When into the pub a fireman ran
His face all a chalky white.
"What's up", says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost,
Or have you seen your Aunt Mariah?"
"Me Aunt Mariah be buggered!", says he,
"The bleedin' pub's on fire!"
"Oh well," says Brown, "What a bit of luck.
Everybody follow me.
And it's down to the cellar
If the fire's not there
Then we'll have a grand old spree."
So we went on down after good old Brown
The booze we could not miss
And we hadn't been there ten minutes or more
Till we were quite like this...
Then, Smith walked over to the port wine tub
And gave it just a few hard knocks (clap clap)
Started takin' off his pantaloons
Likewise his shoes and socks.
"Hold on, " says Brown, "that ain't allowed
Ya cannot do that thing here.
Don't go washin' trousers in the port wine tub
When we got Guinness beer."
Chorus...
And then there came a mighty crash
Half the bloody roof caved in.
We were almost drowned in the firemen's hose
Though we were almost happy
So we got some tacks and some old wet sacks
And we tacked ourselves inside
And we sat there getting bleary-eyed drunk
While the Old Dun Cow caught fire...
Chorus...
In a neat little town they call Belfast
Apprenticed in trade I was bound
And many an hour of sweet happiness
I spent in that neat little town.
Then bad misfortune befell me
And caused me to stray from the land
Far away from my friends and companions
To follow the black velvet band.
Well, I was out strolling one evening
Not intendin to stay very long
When I met with a frolicsome damsel
As She came a trippin along
Well a watch, she pulled out her pocket
And slipped it right into my hand
On the very first day that I met her,
Bad luck to the black velvet band
Before judge and jury next morning
Both of us did appear
A gentleman claimed his jewelry
And the case against us was clear.
So come all you jolly young fellows
I'd have you take warning by me
And whenever you're out on the liquor
Beware of the pretty colleen
They'll fill you with whiskey and porter
Until You're not able to stand
And the very next thing that you know
You're landed in Van Dieman's Land
Here's the story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little sad,
Of Lilly the Pink and her Medicinal Compound
And how it drove her slighty mad.
I've roamed through all the nations
In delight of all creations,
And enjoyed a wee sensation
Where the company, it was kind.
And when partin' was no pleasure,
I've drunk another measure
To the good friends that we treasure
For they always are in our mind.
If you're bent wi' arthiritis,
Your bowels have got Colitis,
You've gallopin' bollockitis
And you're thinkin' it's time you died,
If you been a man o' action,
Though you're lying there in traction,
You will get some satisfaction
Thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried."
Oh a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evenin' fair,
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share;
He fumbled round 'til he could no longer keep his feet,
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
