Umpa Lumpa, do bitty do
I’ve got another riddle for you
Umpa lumpa, do bitty dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you guzzle down beer?
A tent full of Fat Guys, sharing good cheer!
But if you try to talk politics here
You'll not get an-y beer
Not even a single drop
Umpa Lumpa do-bitty-deer
Yes its true the Fat Guys like beer
If you live large you'll live happy too
Like the Umpa-Lumpa and Fat Guys do

Umpa Lumpa, do bitty do
I’ve got another riddle for you
Umpa Lumpa, do bitty dee
If you are wise, please listen to me

What do you get when you play politics
Lots of bad gossip, that makes us all sick
I must conclude that those who cause all this strife
Must not have an-y life
Outside of the SCA

Umpa Loompa, do bitty ­ tick
Teach by example is a much better trick
Let others do what others will do
Like the Umpa lumpa and Fat Guys Do

Umpa Lumpa do bitty ­ Do
I’ve got another riddle for you
Umpa lumpa do bitty dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me

What do you get when you forget it's a game
Cries of "That's not Period!" sound kind of lame
Yes, we should try for a medieval air
But fanaticism gets us no where
And will drive most folks away

Umpa Lumpa, do bitty ­ dar
Tolerance will go twice as far
A less serious attitude will benefit you
Like the Umpa Lumpa, and Fat Guys do

This one is all Luke the Fool's fault. He started the first verse, I just followed the thread. Since I became Vicar of Knight’s crossing, I have been getting PHONE CALLS. I expected them from the local group, but many of these are coming from folks from outside of the Barony. It is a constant source of amusement. Some people just take things too seriously. Most of the calls are trivial, but these folks are seeing plots everywhere. If I had the same amount of imagination, I could be a best-selling fiction writer. Anyway this song is a call to lighten up.