The care and feeding of wenches
Is a noble art so fair -o
Always see she has a seat
By giving up your chair-o
Never let her carry loads
See that her gear's transported
And if she's called before the crown
Ensure that she's escorted.

Listen to her every word
Give her your full attention
Always praise the garb she wears
Her beauty you should mention
Be sure to rub her shoulders fair
Till tension has receded
And if invited do her back
Leave it nice and kneaded

A wench should not be left alone
She should be well attended
Make sure her cup is ever full
And she'll think you are splendid
Have plenty of chocolate close hand
Her smiles it will sweeten
And if you follow all these steps
The results can not be beaten.

There are many different views on what is the basis for the SCA "Dream". In my humble opinion it is courtesty. With the SCA in Europe there are many cultural differences. In some countries, the ladies feel a strong need to assert their independance. The only lords in those countries that escort their ladies are those that have had exposure to the SCA in the USA. I have, many a time, been chewed out by ladies for offering to help carry a load, offer a seat, or an escort when a lady is called before the crown. This song started as subtle reminder to both lords and laidies of the basic actions of courtesy in the SCA. My first title was going to be "Clues for the Clueless". It kind of deviated from the original goal, but I liked the end result anyway.