There's a creature out among us
That's a danger to the Dream
He's been here since the early days
And you all know who I mean
On the field he has no honor
He will never take your blow
He is no ones friend
Has to cheat to win
He's the SCA Rhino
He's a Rhino

(Chorus:)


When you bash his Helm
And it rings the realm
But he stands and calls it light
Then you dent his arms
and you dent his legs
But he won't quit the fight
You can smash his face
With an iron mace
But he'll ignore the blow
I tell ya my friend
You can never win
If you're fighting against a Rhino

It is really hard to fathom
What must go on in his mind
The drive to win becomes so bad
That honor is left behind
It really is a pity
He has the skill, I know
To win it clean most of the time
But instead he just Rhinos.
He's a Rhino.

(Chorus)

He always has excuses
For shots he did not take
But after time and again
Excuses grow thin
No doubt and no mistake
His disease is catching
Don't let it happen to you
Never let yourself say
If he plays that way
I Guess that I can Too
Don't be a Rhino
A Rhino

(Chorus)

At Cookie Wars 1996, a radio was playing "Rodeo" and one person remarked that that song was just begging to be filked. This song was the result. Rhino hides have been a problem in the SCA as long as I can remember. One of my few "serious" songs.