Please mister archer
I don't want to die
Please mister archer
I don't want to die
At the the last double war
I got mad and really sore
Every time I tried to attack
I'd get hit with an arrow in the back

Please mister archer
I want a chance to fight
Have pity mister archer
After all I am a knight
There's a shield wall over there
Just asking for my care
I just want at least one swing
Before I hear another arrow go ca-ching

Please mister archer
I'll do most anything
Please mister archer
I'll even stand still for the Queen
I'm a warrior tough and mean
But that don't mean a thing
If after each resurrection I find
I step on the field and become a porcupine

Please mister archer
I see you hiding by that tree
Please mister archer
Why do you always pick on me?
I just want to kill a few
Before this war is through
How about if I bribe you?
Ten minutes of fighting for a case of Mountain Dew

Please mister archer
I don't want to die
Please mister archer
I don't want to die

Sir Prothal's Lament was the Idea of The Right Honorable Lord Goetz von der Krautlache. Sir Prothal has had a long standing feud with the combat archers. Last year at the Double Wars he went around and congratulated every fight who killed and archer, no matter what side they fought on. The references in the song about standing still for the Queen, came from one field battle where the then Crown Princess was chasing him all over the field shouting "Will you stand still?!" Sir Prothal is from Sweden and for some unexplained reason most of the Swedes are very fond of Mountain Dew. It is one of the preferred bribes for their mercenary fighters. They do not sell it there so it is a very precious item.