A mother was bathing her five-year-old son
And she noticed that his was a small little one
She started to worry, about his adult life
Feared that he'd never be able to attract a wife

Chorus:
Tur-a-la, Tur-a-lay
It's only an old joke that I sing today
Sing a-long, have a beer
If you get easily offended, you shouldn't be here


She went to the doctor, to see what he could do
The doctor said "I've got some bad news for you"
You son is so small, that if he every weds
His wife will not notice when he comes to bed

She talked to her friends at an afternoon tea
And they all agreed that his pecker was wee
But they gave no advice, to help ease her mind
But after they left, one friend tarried behind

She said, "What I tell you, keep under your hood
There's a witch that lives in a hut in the woods
She may know of a way, that may give you hope
For she cured my John's baldness with herbs and some soap".

So the mother and child went into the woods
Hoping to hear some news that was good
They knocked at the door, the witch said come in
They entered the work room of old Yaga Flynn

The mother explained her concerns for her son
The witch listened calmly until she was done
She pulled down a tome all covered with dust
If an answer exits, its in here , so I trust.

She read and she read, and wrinkled her brow
And then she announced, "I found it right now
It says the one thing that will make it grow most
Each and every morning he must eat buttered toast"

She paid and departed the old witches house
In town she saw her friend strolling with her spouse
And on his head, she noticed his hair
Where a week ago, his head had almost been bare.

That night she lay thinking, her man slept by her side
In her heart she knew that the witch had not lied
In the morn, when the lad went to break his fast
He saw buttered toast in a pile that was vast

It covered the table; no surface was bare
There was toast on the counters and toast on the chair
"I can't eat all that mama!" cried the five year old lad.
She replied, "These two are for you, that's for your Dad!".

Final Chorus:
Tur-a-la, Tur-a-lay
It's only an old joke that I sing today
Sing a-long, have a beer
It's over, so the offended, can now join us here

No story. Just a favorite old joke set to a merry tune.