It was Friday up at the Pennsic Wars
We had a fire to ward off the damp
We had just finished munching a roasted boar
When a stranger came into our camp
He said "I'm looking for a hot lusty wench
"Who I hope can do up me right
"Cause I'm randy as hell
"And my tool it doth swell
"And I need some relief here tonight"

La-la-la, ditty-da, la-la, de-da, de-dum
"Bring on the women
"I'm Libido Man
"I'm primed and ready to strike
"And I'm quite proud to say
"I'm one hell of a lay
"So lets get down to it tonight."
La-la-la, ditty-da, la-la, de-da, de-dum

Around the fire there was silence
We didn't know what to make of him
We could see that his lust
Would soon cause him to bust
His future was looking quite grim
It's not that the folks there were prudish
We sometimes can get rather crude
But after a feasting and drinking
There was no urge for plinking
The wenches were not in the mood

La-la-la, ditty-da, la-la, de-da, de-dum
spoken (Still he said)
"Bring on the women
"I'm Libido Man
"If there's no women I'll go for a Ewe
"My need is quite deep
"So I'll go for a sheep
"Cause my balls are getting quite blue"
Baa-Baa-Baa, bitty-Baa, Baa-Baa, Baa-baa, baa-bum

We sadly said we couldn't help him
There were no willing women or sheep
Then we gave him a beer
And came up with an I-deer
Of where he just might earn his keep
So we sent him off to the blue feather's camp
And I hear that they gave him a job
Taking tolls at the door
Until he wanted no more
And his poor tool no longer did throb.

Bi-Bi-Bi, Bitty-Bi, Bi-Bi, Bi-Bi, Bi-Bum
spoken (You could hear him call)
"Come pay the toll
"I'm Libido man
"I don't care if you're a her or a him
"Bi, Straight, or Gay
"There's a toll you must pay
"Before I will let you come in"
Bi-Bi-Bi, Bitty-Bi, Bi-Bi, Bi-Bi, Bi-Bum

I wrote this one for the "Make the Baron Laugh" competition at this years Feast of Fools. Sadly the competition got cancelled, but the song was a hit around the campfire that night. There was a Squire here in Drachenwald who used to ocassionally say "I am Libido Man, ....." He used to work with the current Baron. I thought the song would be sure to get a laugh.